Late Night Jokes Of THe Week

Leno
Embarrassing situation for Al Gore; you know, the whole global warming thing. Turns out his Tennessee home is using 20 times the energy of the average household. But to be fair, it’s still not as much energy as John Edwards’ blow dryer is using.

Al Gore says his bill is higher than average because his house is bigger than average. It’s a 20-room mansion. You know — the kind you normally find Republicans living in.

The state of Virginia’s General Assembly has passed a resolution apologizing for slavery. Not a moment too soon. It’s good to nip these things in the bud before any hard feelings develop.
You knew this was going to happen — today Democrats started a "draft Al Gore movement." See, I’m not sure President Bush understood this. When they told him Al Gore could be drafted he said, "Can’t his family get him in the National Guard?"

Letterman
How about Al Gore? "An Inconvenient Truth" has been nominated for an Academy Award. Two as a matter of fact. It’s all about the environment. And I can’t think of anything better for the environment than an event that features 2,000 stretch limousines.

Sen. John McCain announced right here on this program that he’s running for president. Then today, he shaved his head and checked into rehab.

Kimmel
After four miserable, grueling days, American Idol is finally back on televisionm and not a moment too soon. One of the contestants is already standing out on the show, but not for singing. 20-year-old Antonella Barba is getting a lot of attention for photographs floating around on the Internet. [Newscaster announces: "The nude, topless, and in some cases pornographoic, photos surfaced reportedly on her own Web site."] You know, you expect this sort of thing from Miss USA, but not from Amerrican Idol

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